An Influence Escalator

In search of an influence escalator? I’ve been pulling together some ideas into something that feels important.

Some quotes

“The quality of your attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking.” Nancy Kline

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” Frank Outlaw

“It all starts with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there.” Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

An Influence Escalator?

  • If the quality of your attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking
  • Then the quality of people’s thinking determines the quality of their words, the quality of people’s words determines the quality of their actions etc…
  • Could the quality of your listening determine another person’s destiny?

Given that, where are we now in relation to the idea that listening is a low-status activity?

Comments most welcome!

7 thoughts on “An Influence Escalator”

  1. Marko Ikonen

    Nancy Kline’s quote “The quality of your attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking.” is powerful, as well as the way you connect the dots here.

    Listening, I think, is a part of “the quality of your attention” as you teach Judy. Another part is when you direct one’s attention and thinking by asking great questions, using Clean Language of course :).

    Br, Marko

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  3. The word Perception jumps out at me as a driver that is a two way street of motivational direction. The visual cues seem to be closely related to the listening process that is somehow reciprocated by the relater and listener alike. Multiple senses are at play here.

  4. The quality of listening is also dependent on the quality of the initial communication. It’s a two way street. People who don’t communicate their needs and ideas well have a hard time being listened to. We need to do both better.

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