Why don’t you ask more questions?
It’s a question that’s been nagging me for a while, as I’ve been busy both exhorting people to do more asking – for example, in this video – and training people to ask specific kinds of questions.
And (doh!) one possible answer has just struck me.
Presumably, something’s stopping you.
The fact you’re reading this blog means that you’re an intelligent person, curious about the world, wanting to learn. It’s also a fair bet that you’re a nice person, wanting to help and do good work.
Why would somebody like that not ask lots of questions? What might stop you?
From here on I’m into pure speculation. But my guess is that what’s holding you back is that you don’t want to be selfish.
You know that great questions will bring you great information, and enable you to have more power and influence over the people you communicate with. You know that the person asking the questions controls the conversation. You want to be polite and kind and helpful… not manipulative… and so you talk to fill the silence, rather than asking questions.
But here’s the thing. Most people love to talk about themselves. And most people find it much easier to talk than to listen.
Most people get great value from being asked great questions – questions which direct their attention to the edge of what they already know, and force them to think slightly new thoughts about the world and their place in it. Questions that give them hope and make them aware of new possibilities as to how they could manifest their light in the world.
Most people don’t know about the effect of great questions, or how to ask them.
And the fact you’re here means that you are “one of the few”.
What happens when you open to the possibility that it’s really selfish for you not to ask more questions?