Are you a good listener? How do you know?

Are you a good listener? Whether you think you are or not – how would you know? It’s slightly alarming to realise that if you’re NOT a good listener, you probably won’t be aware of that fact! As James Borg points out in his bestselling book Persuasion, it’s one of those things that people are often criticised…

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Motivating your elephant

You possibly already know that we all have an elephant and a rider. The “elephant” is a metaphor for all the parts of your system that lie outside your own conscious awareness, while the “rider” is that small percentage of your being that you’re consciously aware of – probably less than 5 per cent of…

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Frame control – the power of context

Great influencers have long recognised the power of setting the context of any conversation. For example, pick-up artists discuss “frame control” and assert that “In an interaction between two people, whoever has the stronger frame/reality wins”. Of course, I don’t accept their win-lose frame! Influential interactions can be, and in my opinion should be, win-win, especially…

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Making People Fit

I heard a fascinating interview this morning with Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the author of the best-selling books The Black Swan and Fooled by Randomness. His new book is called The Bed of Procrustes. And in that metaphor, as you might have guessed, lies a tale. Procrustes is a character from Greek mythology who owned an inn…

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It’s not for you…

It seems I’ve created a bit of a stir in some quarters with my “Intelligent Influence” project. You can still bag a place on the Voyage of Discovery here until 10 December, but our team of explorers is already establishing itself online, bursting with enthusiasm and energy. As I’ve been watching their postings, joining in…

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